I’ve always struggled with that name.
I KNOW what’s good about it. Jesus chose me. He chose separation from God (for a time) so that I didn’t have to live life apart from God. He took my punishment. He gave me life.
But today is dark. We crucified our Savior. We jeered and poked and laughed as He died. And he asked forgiveness on our behalf. How dark is sin that we could ridicule the One who chose our lives over His, even knowing that we would choose other things over Him…maybe every other thing over Him. On Good Friday I always feel overwhelmed with gratitude, but also deep sadness at how dark this world was (and is) to crucify the One who loves us most.
Today felt especially not good. People that I love got unimaginably hard news. As I tried to process through pieces of this news today, I just kept thinking the same things over and over. “This isn’t right. It isn’t fair.” And then I realized that God, who knit these people together and loves them enough to give His Son, He might be feeling that same way. He, who created perfection, knows what He intended for us to experience, and (I believe) feels an even deeper sadness for the darkness we experience.
I am thankful for Jesus’s suffering- I could never earn that gift.
I am also grateful that His grace, mercy and care are abundant in our suffering. Some days it’s all that gets me through.