tonight I am grateful for dance parties with this brave girl , the most amazing five year old I know.
and for laughter, warm weather, long walks, swings and balance walking. Ot was great to hear Harlow laugh and play, and man, that girl has energy. she can outdance me any day.
I’m also grateful for a hubby who sends me pictures of my veggies sprouting and who invites me to kill zombies with him and his friends. 🙂
*If you’re interested, this is the page where you can donate to help Harlow’s family with the already rising costs for Harlow’s medical treatments. If you aren’t able to donate, please consider sharing the link with your social circles. Thank you!*
Today did not feel like a Monday in the best possible way. It was warm, I finally felt close to normal again so I was able to run needed errands and spend a little time with my friend Jenni and her cutie kiddos. Then, this evening, I got to clean fruits and veggies and make lunches for tomorrow while sweet hubs made quesadilla burgers. They were delicious, and I really enjoyed chatting and making good food together.
What’s the best thing you’ve concocted in the kitchen lately?
they will grow? that’s my hope! today I sat on a tarp on the living room floor and planted well over 200 tiny containers with soil and seeds while sweet hubs figured out how to build me my dream garden. I absolutely cannot wait to go pick lettuce, cucumbers, carrots and tomatoes out of our garden to throw together a delicious summer lunch. blts, salads, homemade salsa- here we come! (if I can keep them alive, that is…)
today I am thankful for the first day since Tuesday that I didn’t feel like I was going to toss my cookies, for planted seeds and garden dreams, and for open windows and warm sunshine.
This week has been a doozy. It started, as you may remember, with a call from my mom early last Sunday saying that my dad had been taken to the hospital by ambulance because of bad pain in his chest and left shoulder. I know you don’t all know my dad, but he’s pretty tough/stubborn about pain, and does not really ever complain. This made it unbelievably alarming to hear him continue to say his pain was rising from a 5 to a 6 to an 8. Thankfully by midday Monday they had identified and diagnosed pericarditis. My dad had an infection in the lining of his heart, but they had caught it early and he was going to be fine. Finally, we could breathe again.
And then Wednesday came. I got a text from my friend Jamie. Hoping it was news about my sweet friend Harlow ‘s Kindergarten, I eagerly opened the message. I started shaking as I read the words I never wanted to hear and that no parent should ever have to say about their child: “They did an ultrasound yesterday and they think they saw a mass. They think Harlow’s cancer is back.” Devastating, heart-breaking words. I’ve struggled to process this since then-both big and little things…will she get to go to kindergarten? how does a just-5-year-old understand that she has cancer? again. how do you comfort her when she feels fine, but is going to have to get sick to get better? how do you comfort a young family facing the worst news a parent could ever imagine, and for the second time? so many hard questions. so few answers. On Thursday Harlow had a ct scan which confirmed the feared-there is a mass in her abdomen. She will have a cystoscopy and a biopsy on Wednesday and they will place a port for chemo in case she needs it. The last few days I’ve struggled to come to some kind of peace with God about all if this, but it just feels so wrong. I don’t know that I’ll ever get it, so I have to learn to just trust what I know- God is good. Even in the darkest moments when it feels the least true, there is something in me that cannot and will not stop knowing this. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit reminds me of this when my head and my heart can’t quite reconcile the world to that truth. I also know that God made Harlow and Jamie and Ben and that He loves them more than I ever could. I know that He is with and goes before Harlow every single day. I also believe that prayer is powerful and that God does not ignore the cries of His children.
That being said, will you please join me in praying for my precious friend Harlow? Pray for healing, for peace for her family, that God would somehow give Ben and Jamie the impossible words to give their sweet girl, for wisdom and skill for the doctors, that they found this mass early and that it is treatable, that Harlow would be treated and healed quickly and effectively so that she can experience normal 5-year-old things like first days of kindergarten.
Yesterday my mom and I went to visit my aunt in a rehabilitation program. She’s doing great, and after just three weeks she looks the healthiest I have ever seen. I am grateful for this, both for her and for the reminder to me that what seems impossible (she has struggled with addiction longer than I’ve been alive) is not impossible to God.
He saves. He defeats death. He heals hard hearts and infected hearts and recurrences of terrifying cancer
Thank you, Jesus.
much less important, but something I was also grateful for yesterday, was spring temperatures and sunshine. It’s refreshing to my body and soul to breathe in some warm(er) fresh air and soak up a few rays. I am thankful that winter does not last forever.